How to be Present in Your Relationship

Sep 12

     You’re eating a wonderful dinner and your favorite wine is in your hand. Someone is talking to you but your eyes are struggling to fix on their lips and eyes, because your mind is elsewhere. Soon your phone buzzes, and this text message is way more interesting than what this person is sharing with you. 
     The other person is your husband. The one that your soul loves. But lately, you feel like the relationship isn’t exciting anymore. The adventure in your romance isn’t there. 
     You can choose right there to make this moment all about him. Maybe you want him to pay attention to *you*. But somebody in this relationship has to start and pay attention to the other. So why don’t you start?
    *Disclaimer: this is only just the basics of being present in a conversation. If there are “but’s” in response to the question above, I recommend to set an appointment with a marriage counselor for some guidance and insight!
     Start by turning off your cell phone, and just look at him. Turn on your heart and mind to what he is saying…even if it’s a topic you don’t really care about. Listen to him but at the same time look at him in WHO he is as a person, his character traits, his personality, and even his flaws. He is looking for in this moment is someone to relate with, a companion to talk to. You’ll discover that the more that you turn your attention to him, the more that he will be attracted to what YOU say, and feel more in balance in your relationship. So many of us women are talkers, and it’s easy for us to express our feelings and share our opinions or experiences. It doesn’t come so easy for man, so this is why being present for him is so important. 
     If you choose to text your coworker, call your friends, or do anything that turns your attention to something else, you are losing this moment. 
     Life is too short to miss a moment with your soulmate. Your marriage is too important and it doesn’t deserve a conversation where neither of you are mentally and emotionally present. You don’t know when life throws a curveball, so make this moment count. At least you can do your part and be faithful in the moment, if his mind is somewhere else. You’ll find that over time, your conversations will be more connected and that it just makes love a little deeper for a man. 

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